Category Archives: Qualia

notes on dining, part II

Today we will discuss how to get the most from your dining experience. It’s a difficult subject to explore, because everybody has different ideas and standards for what creates a positive experience. While there are certain factors—quality of the food, for instance—that are out of your control as a patron, you can maximize what a restaurant has to offer using a few basic principles. While this may sometimes—not always—result in spending more money, it will also, more often than not, dramatically increase your feeling of satisfaction.  Continue reading

Comments on the Second Presidential Debates: 8/7/08

The debate tonight was an inspiring experience for me, and I have found it, maybe out of a sense of perversity, to be a largely uninspiring period of time. It’s been so long that I’ve heard any public issue addressed in a reasonable, honest way, that when it happens I want to slap my hands and thank whoever is responsible for having the simple courage to say what is true.

This is the most important lesson to be learned. That it is possible to say things that are true, and that anybody can say them. Truth has its contexts, and it has its nuances, and neither the world of politics and business-the macro world-nor the even larger and more finely nuanced world of personal life-the micro world-can be helped by anything but a fire to accomplish something good.

The problem with saying something like that is that you, the reader, and myself, the writer, both immediately question ourselves, saying “Is that naïve? Do I have any fire to accomplish something good?”

You create effects of quality in all moments of your life. You experience the world-its breakups, its defeats, its sunrises and snowfalls-as good and bad. This simple acknowledgment, of the universality of complicated experience, signifies in any of us willing to step forward a fire to accomplish good.

Maayan told me about seeking “balance” in the visual design of her magazine. Continue reading

The Dirt Road Ahead

Lyon 2We’re now older, less good-looking, and more grizzled, but as enthusiastic as ever.

We’ll be taking on Southeast Asia for two and a half months. Zach Bryant and I will be traveling the Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, Hong Kong and Macau, and possibly others depending on time and visa restrictions.

Readership, fasten your seatbelts — it’ll be a crazy ride. The next few months will have more pictures, more poems, more Adventures in Food and Drink, and more nonsense than before. I might be able to convince Zach to write a story or two on here as well as a guest blogger.

As soon as we figure out how to Twitter from Southeast Asia, we’ll have microblogging of the journey and you can play along at home and save us from bad guys and foreign governments.

A Man, A Camera, An Idea: Manila

I went out for a walk with the idea of taking some photos of the Philippines that’s a little closer to home than the beaches and boat rides I’ve posted previously. Manila is nothing like that. The only body of water here is a polluted bay that would make Washington DC’s Potomac seem drinkable. The only thing remotely beach-textured is the black grime and sludge on the streets. The overwhelming majority of buildings in Manila are poorly constructed, ad hoc shacks that threaten the boundaries of the word “building.”

I’ve hinted at my apprehension about cameras. I recently was gifted my first digital camera. I’d held out for years in favor of rarely used disposable cameras on a variety of grounds: the cost, the distraction of taking too-many photos, the spontaneity of disposables over tedious digital retakes, the weight of an expensive possession while traveling. Those reasons hide a moral philosophical objection that is harder to state succinctly but became apparent on my walk.

At the start of our walk, before encountering the crowds on the street that make Manila, it was easy to take photos of the cheap shacks and broken-down cars and scrap metal. It was like photographing landscape: the inversion of a fine beach in Palawan, a mountain range in the Andes. As soon as I was aware of people watching me take photos, I became uncomfortable. The presence of a camera creates a relationship between the photographer and the objects, one of control, influence, and power. I already stick out in Manila — in only the fanciest two or three clubs and bars do I ever see another American. Here in the neighborhood, I’ve never seen another American with discernible European heritage. Aware of this, aware of my status as a comparatively wealthy American, aware of myself as a camera-toting tourist, I feel like a hunter, someone here to collect once-living objects and send them back home for my friends to marvel at. I am somewhat revolting.

But now some kids are saying, “What’s up, Joe? Hey man! Hey! Take a photo!” Everyone is happy to have their photo taken; America exports its photo-narcissism. Two girls are giggling and posing. Mothers bring their kids! Young males look tough. “Hey, what’s your name?” “You play some pool?” The camera separates us; the camera brings us together. “Hey, NBA star!” I particularly like that one. “Give me five!” A guy who looks no older than me, shirtless, holds up his palm. I slap it. “…five pesos!” He laughs. I laugh. Time to move on. More photos, more curious people. Now we’ve assembled a formidable ragtag gang of youngsters. Group photo. Try to move on. Where did my friends go anyway? They are further along the path, talking to each other. I do my best to excuse myself: “Yeah, I live two blocks away. Barangay La Paz. We should play basketball sometime.” Need to come back sometime with a liter of beer and time to kill.

I put the camera back in my pocket and walk. Some effeminate teenagers watch me, and follow at a distance. Tagalog, not English, is all around me. I see a sort of street funeral going on; there’s a casket, some lights, a tent. I can’t take a photo of that, that would be crossing the line. It would be a good photo. I walk on. The street I live on, two blocks away, is quieter, richer. I am aware again of myself as an outsider looking in. It’s OK. I got some good photos.

The Neighborhood, Manila

Click the image for the gallery.

What is begun is combined

What is begun is combined

I.

Initially it is a mezcla
of cosas like corn and wheatflour
speckled like cinammon in white tabemono.
At the stage of five, we cook
and the ingredients vanish
into a fiery inferiority.

The majoridad of veces we are unaware
of eating but when the food is gone
we are aware of that.

So our personalities are smears on
una plata para la camarera to clear.
We start on the page but grow like vines

Off it into this taciturn dimension.
Addicted to these sorts of hallucinations
which even a squirrel wouldn’t be.

And this is the state we find ourselves in:
seeking forms to deny
that a squirrel could teach
me how to be a man.

II.

On the night of the inkwell
not a boy but a moth
jealously masked, hovering
outside the closed post office.

I hope I am never forced
to replace those waking moments
when you rolled over to ask
what year is it? what country are we in?

And later I confessed I wouldn’t
have even been able to decide with certainty
if I was a person or an object
or even how to set about making
that decision.

It is the measurement itself
that we are unfit for,
so the suit can never be made.

III.

The string is pulled on la combinattoire.
It falls, and I am doubled again.

This problem precedes me,
though I run at day and walk at night.
My most successful trick has been
to hide in late hours.

My kimono is crossed over my body
in a Matadorian proverb of insolence.
If it were polite, we wouldn’t fear it
so therefore I infer that it is a leering fool.

But of course we have instructed it to behave this way.
Our final chastistement, meaningless,
with no opportunity for reform.

         

Opacity in Poetry – Jared’s Take

Buried in the comments somewhere down there, David asks important questions on opacity of meaning and intention that I thought needed their own space on the front page. Hopefully, he’ll respond to my ideas with a fresh post of his own, and maybe Sarah will jump in with a new one as well.

David writes, “What about all this opacity? Is it a syndrome? What’s it worth? Anything? How do you deal with issues of clarity and explicitness?”

I remember talking with my father about this when I was perhaps 14 or 15 years old, as drove me to a friend’s house in a distant exurb near a dam. I don’t know how I remember this just now, but I do. I remember asking my dad how he knows the right amount of difficulty to put into a poem, how he can be just tricky enough with his words to make poetry (for at that time, I assumed that all poetry must have some complexity) without making his work an impenetrable puzzle. His response was basically that I was asking the wrong question, that he doesn’t really worry about the complexity, which I think is related to opacity (though it might not be the same), that he writes and lets this type of question take care of itself. From one perspective, it might be possible to say it’s a wrongheaded question. But it’s no fun to say, “Don’t worry about it.” It’s makes for a bad blog post, in any case. Let’s jump in.

Over the years as my style has changed, I think I’ve dealt with meaning in very different ways, although I think my approach might be, for the most part, fundamentally different from what you describe in your comments, in as much as you “create an experience rather than relate one.” I see myself in the business of relating experience, and my frustrations with meaning and opacity in poetry come from a desire to convey qualia. I try to communicate exactly how something affected me, how it appears to me. Since by definition there is something ineffable about qualia, I’ll never quite be able to communicate this in my poetry, but I do try to approximate the quale as best I can.

Because this is a root principle of my poetry for the last 9 years, I think it’s made me drawn to certain styles and poets; I think of two particulars right now: high modernism (especially during college) for its ability to pack a lot of meaning and associations into a single word and the New York School for the personal and observational quality of their poems. The combination of these two styles has made me focus on simple direct communication, although sometimes I’d rely on a particular word for a lot of meaning — a feature of modernism that sometimes requires a dictionary. But even so, I think that in most of my poems, I keep a very strong level of authorial control over the my meaning. It isn’t to say I don’t want others to interpret my work in their own way; quite the contrary. But I acknowledge that I don’t often leave a lot of room.

In the last couple of years, my poems increasingly depart from this stylistic M.O. I find that I write more things in a, for lack of a better word, eastern style, trying to be more of a mirror in my poetry than an actor. I think some of my best stuff recently is when this new style mixes with the old style in interesting ways. Of course, in poetry, one cannot be completely a mirror — the nature of conscious selection does not exist in a “real” mirror in quite the same way. Nevertheless, it’s increasingly “the mood of the poem” rather than “the mood of the narrator.”

So: opacity, poetry. I think Eliot, sound poets, others — to me they are not opaque. They come with ciphers. Sure, with Eliot you need to google every few words to get the resonances he creates. With sound poets, the cipher is the pleasure of the sound, the quirks it provokes in the listener. Even Finnegan’s Wake is not quite opaque, though it is surely difficult. Finnegan’s Wake has multiple, nearly infinite ciphers. (This point on Finnegan’s Wake leads to another interesting and related topic of the work of art as attempting a totality/world unto itself, contrasted with art as a description/mirror of a commonly shared world. In creating a new experience, I think you aim more toward creating a totality, by which I mean internally consistent rules in a poem. But maybe not — I’m reaching here. Finnegan’s Wake always seems to provoke this. Let’s get out of this digression, shall we?)

Let’s try again. I propose that opacity is a disconnect between intent and interpretation. Under this theory, there could perhaps be good opacity and bad. Good opacity is intended to frustrate, let the reader probe a little, bang their head, free associate, or just read the surface (ie, enjoy the sound, the visual of the poem). With bad opacity, the writer intended something that never quite surfaces to the reader. (“You want me to get the night sky out of this poem? I showed it to 60 friends and they saw nothing of the sort.”) But this theory is probably unsatisfactory in a number of cases. Nothing complicates this distinction more than Surrealism. Frank O’Hara shows why in Why I Am Not a Painter.

Complete opacity is impossible. Nothing is free of the tyranny of theory and interpretation. Wait, let me start over. Opacity exists everywhere always. Everything I say and write, every quale intuited, is ultimately private and unconnected with the world. The best I can hope for is to make you think we share something.