Oh hey! It’s so good to see you. You look fantastic, did you get taller? I dig those shoes. So anyway, have you met the michelada? I think you two might really hit it off. Michelada’s kicky, but chill, too. And full of surprises!

In a cocktail party situation, I might introduce the delicious Mexican drink michelada thusly. Then I’d try to excuse myself subtly while you two chatted it up, and go hide my cell phone from myself in order to avoid drunk texting mistakes later, because I’d have had several beers by that point, and then I’d probably fall asleep somewhere because I’m a narcoleptic. But that’s another story! The point of this post is, micheladas are such a refreshing warm-weather beverage. And to enjoy them, all you need is cold beer, coarse salt, some limes, and–most importantly–Valentina Salsa Picante. (Wikipedia notes that there are as many different types of micheladas under the sun as there are Saved by the Bell spin-offs, the most popular of which also has tomato juice. This post just deals with the type I had last night, which makes for a lighter and less cocktail-y michelada alternative–more like beer getting bored and dying its hair than a Bloody Mary relative–but I’m sure they’re all worthy drinks.)

To mix a michelada of epicly tasty dimensions:

- Rub lime around the rim of the glass and dip in salt

- Add a few drops of Valentina hot sauce into the glass. If this is your first michelada and you’re not wild about spice, you might want to go a little easy; if you brush your teeth with Guatemalan insanity peppers, I’d say bring it on.

- Squeeze juice from about half a lime and mix.

- Add a bottle of beer. I had mine with Corona, but any light beer should do ya.

- Shake it. The beer should have little speckles of red floating around in it, like a beautiful flock of cardinals drifting in a golden sunset sky.

The end. You win! And what a prize, too. I drank two of these last night (adopting one orphaned michelada that was a little too zesty for its previous owner’s taste), and I miss the michelada already. It goes great with jalapeno potato chips, pretzels, guacamole, and probably everything else in the universe, too.

It’s possible that I’ll name my first-born child after this drink. But only if it’s a girl. If it’s a boy, I’ve already decided on French Fry.